Eternal Love... !  

Posted by Thoorika

This is my first blog post this new year :) So I am uploading my first (And I do hope this is not the last!) story written by me!

Everyday he waits at the college bus stop for her so that both of them can go to their respective home in the same bus. Everyday he attends the language class in the college without fail.

The only class where both of them sit in the same room.
The only class for which he goes to college itself.

So that he can enjoy seeing the dimples on her cute face.

But he never had the guts to talk to her. One day he got stuck with some work and totally forgot about the bus. When he finally remembered it, he ran at the top speed, breaking all the records of PT Usha. And to his surprise, he found her waiting for him in the bus stop. His friends told him that she missed her previous bus just for him. his joy knew no bounds. That night, he treated all his friends at the street corner biryani shop. Because of which his stomach got upset the next day and he had to bunk college for couple of days. When he was busy clutching his stomach in the loo, he got a anonymous get well soon card. His happiness doubled since he recognized the handwriting very well. It was hers!!!!! After all every time, in the examination hall, he used to sit behind her and admire her beautiful handwriting, instead of copying the answers.

That moment he decided that the time has come to tell her about his feelings. The next day, he waited for her at the bus stop. She came at her regular time and immediately she searched for him at the usual place where he sits all the time, Their eyes met and she smiled. Her smile gave him strength. He stood up and took a step towards her. But then! He immdiately stopped dead in his tracks. Why?! Because she was walking towards him!!! Suddenly he got nervous. He started sweating and smelling like a stinking pig which takes its bath at the muddy pool everyday. Slowly she came near him ad faced him. He waited for her to start since he was searching for words to speak. But she was hesitating to speak. Finally she spoke -

" Bhaiya, kya main aapko rakhi bandh sakthi hun? "

PS : For those souls who dont understand hindi, the last line meant - Brother, Can I tie you rakhi?! Inspired by a true incident in one of my dear friend's life ;)



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34 comments

coooooool story sis...initially i thought its a ghatiya usual drooling stories but at the end was really good.... really good.. tc.

Hey the story is really good !! :) i like it so much .. I didnt expect that u will write story like this u have narrated it very nicely ..but the thing i dont like about ur story is ..but how can u publish this story without getting copyrights from me ! i am going to file case on u !!!!! Hmph :(

i wont forget august 4th 2001..

43 rakhis in total.. the babes in my college just took a heavy revenge on me...

@ Dinesh

Neeye vo manathe edhuku vangure ... ?! :P Thank you :)

@ Chriz

Muahahahaha!! Adhuku dha over mokkai podu kudathunu soluvange... !!! :P

but one among them later became my college-love..
those were the days..

hmmm good story..... but some how i din like the end...!!!! don mind huh.... by the way u said its was ur frns story right.... was he or she???

@ Chriz

Awwwww... !! Happens!! :P

@ Padma

I like that DP of urs!! and I know why you guys hate the ending!!! :P Its not my friends story completely.. !! HE ;)just told a small jist tat this happened once upon a time with him.. I jus wrote this one from my imagination with that situation !!

:) :) nice story! Happy new year 2009!!!

Thank you vidya! Same to you!

Hi,
Your post is really interesting... Good Luck...keep writing.

my situation is worser than ur story!! by default, gurls call me "thambi" coz i'm d youngest in class..tried so many tricks 2 hide d fact bt they gotto know it when seeing d register!!

I was sure of the end being BRO so it dint surprise me... But The real thing that hit me is whether guy/gal, who is your frnd?

What a sad story!Poor GUY! But that guy would have said...Hey I love you...so dont tie it.?

@ Susan

Thank you very much!! Keep coming :)

@ Suyambuvel

Ha ha!! Happens!! Its ok.. chumma carry on the youth factor itself.. "nangalam youth ma youth" "P apdinu oru dialogue solikavendiya dha .. !!

@ Karthik

My friend is a guy .. !! This was not the exact thing which actually happened.. !! I developed it into a story... !!

@ Sri

That guy was too much shocked to respond :P Thanks for commenting.. Keep coming :)

Ask your frnd not to worry off it.. Tell him he has a partner-in-sorrow named KARTHIk

i'm late here.. but latest none the less :P

nice post..

@ chriz

are u sure u dated one of those girls who tied rakhis? i bet all 42 of them must've been hot.. and u dated one among the 'rest'

Oh the quintessential Indian story.

@ Anusha

Thanks! Appreciate that coming from you!

@ Writing for crows!

Yeah! I know! Thanks for dropping by. Keep Coming :)

@ Karthik

Sure sure ... :D

Hmmm.. as someone said I did expect some twist in the story but honestly it didn't match.

TAsk urself, u as a gal ll u be waiting for someone whom u consider bro (unless u believe he ll serve a Chaperone) and y do u hav to send an anonymous get well card for ur bro.

Sorry yaar I am used to be frank :-)

Nevertheless the stroy is good before the twist.

@ Kitty

Now that's some honest comments! :) Thanks! My characters in the story dont know each other on personal level. and again I am happy that you have appreciated me on the story before the twist. cos I worked on those situations only!! This is my first attempt nly so please forgive me if the story is too bland! Please drop by regularly and give your honest opinions on all my other posts!

Hey sister..so stepped into 2009 with some story telling is it..good!!! Commenting on a story is not finding faults out of it that has to corrected or learnt..so dont take my comments in those terms its just a "comment"..
Story telling is again an art and u've got real good skill in it sis..I mean the way you have narrated things..logistics in a story is not important when it comes a point of taking it as an art..these r my suggestions..
1. When u write a short story make sure the incident or the story happens in a very short period of time..at the max a few hours..
2. Try to be more precise on explaining things in terms of "momentary lapse of reasoning"..language and the standard of language wont matter much when u focus on this and it will help u write easier.
3. Always when u write a story try emphasizing on things such as place, culture and personalities. That makes the story more stronger.
4. Never compare others' written stories with urs..u can appreciate them, enjoy them in its own way but never compare them with urs..

And what else..keep writing a lot of stories..I really enjoyed reading it after a long day's work..
Take care..enjoy madi!!
-Bala

@ Bala

Phew.. tats a pretty long advice.. thanks! will keep them in minD!

Nice blog template and nice layout! May I ask how you created it?

Nice story too....poor guy who got Rakhied!!!

came here hopping..interesting story, and i waited for the catch, because i knew there must be one, but sadly the twist dissappointed me..its quite cliche....will look for ur next one:)

@ Bullshee

Thanks! Wish I could have created the template myself.. !! But I dunno how to do it yet :( I downloaded one from one website! Thanks for dropping by. Keep visiting :)

@ Renu

I didnt know that ppl expected so much.. !! Will work hard on next one surely.. !! :)Thanks for your comments! Keep visiting :)